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The information in this note is from SuperWeddings.com

Weddings are filled with customs and traditions....

"Something old, something blue..." and all that stuff! Have you ever stopped to wonder what on earth it all really means and where it all originated?

Most of these customs have endured the test of time, having been begun centuries ago. How very fascinating that is! How is it that they survive?

They have been maintained over time because such traditions carry with them the promise that they will bring happiness and good fortune to the couple at this transitional time in their life - and who could be brave enough to tamper with that?

Did you know that:

• Walk on by

In times past, if a young man encountered a blind person, a pregnant woman, or a monk on while on his way to propose to his intended bride, it was believed that the marriage would be doomed if he continued along because these images were thought to be bad omens.

• Step right up

On the other hand, if he were to happen upon a pigeon, wolf, or goat, he would expect extremely good fortune in the marriage.

• In what month will you marry?

According to an old legend, the month in which you marry may have some bearing on the fate of the marriage:

• "Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true;
• When February birds do mate, you wed nor dread your fate;
• If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know;
• Marry in April when you can, joy for Maiden and for Man;
• Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day;
• Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you will go;
• Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred;
• Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see;
• Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine;
• If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry;
• If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember;
• When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last".
• About May weddings

Ancient tradition thought May to be an unlucky month to marry because in Romans times the Feast of the Dead and the Festival of the Goddess of Chastity both occurred in May.

• About June weddings

For centuries the month of June has been the most popular choice for weddings - but the original reason might surprise you. You see, during the 1400-1500s, May was the month in which the "annual bath" occured. Yes, just as it sounds, back then people were only able to bathe thoroughly once each year. As such, the over-all population was smelling relatively fresh in June, making it a good time to hold a special event like a wedding! Further, the month of June is named after the goddess Juno, who was the Roman counterpart to Hera, the goddess of the hearth and home, and patron of wives.

• About marrying during Lent

It was thought that misfortune would come to those who married during lent - "Marry in Lent, live to repent" - because lent was a time for abstinence.

• About wearing white

The tradition for the bride to wear white began in the 16th century and is still commonly follwed today. This is a symbol of the bride's purity and her worthiness of her groom.

The tradition became solidified during the time of Queen Victoria who rebelled against the royal tradition for Royal brides to wear silver. Instead, the queen preferred the symbolism which is expressed by wearing white. The brides of the time quickly emulated the queen, and the tradition has continued in full force to this day.

There is an old saying that "the bride wore a green gown". This implies the belief that she was promiscuous before marriage and refers to the image of her rolling around in grassy fields with a young man.

• About the bridal veil

Traditionally brides have been thought to be particularly vulnerable to evil spirits. Many wedding customs and traditions were originated as an attempt to fight away such evil. The veil was worn with the belief that it would disguise the bride and fool the evil spirits. It was not until 1800 in Britain that the veil came to symbolize modesty and chastity. Today, the veil remains the ultimate symbol of virginity.

• About mirrors

It is held that a final look in the mirror right before the bride leaves her home for the ceremony will bring good luck. However, if she looks in a mirror once again before the ceremony, her luck will tarnish to bad!

• About the wedding gown

It is believed to be bad luck for the bride to make her own wedding dress.

It is believed to be bad luck for the bride to wear her complete outfit before the wedding day. As an extention to this, some brides leave a final stich on the dress undone until the day of the wedding for good luck.

• About changing your name

"To change the name and not the letter, is to expect the worst and not the better!"

This little riddle conveys the notion that it is thought to be unlucky to marry a man whose last name begins with the same first letter as your own.

• About writing your new name

To practice writing your new name prior to the wedding (and what bride doesn't do this?) is believed to tempt fate and thus, is also believed to result in bad luck during the marriage!

• Good Luck Symbols

Seeing a lamb, frog, spider, black cat, or rainbows on the way to the ceremony is believed to be a sign of good luck!

• Bad Luck Symbols

Seeing an open grave, pig, or lizard on the way to the ceremony, or hearing a crow after dawn on the morning of the wedding are all thought to be omens of bad luck.

Catching a glimpse of a monk or a nun is also thought to be a omen of misfortune because of their association with poverty and chastity.

Bad weather on the way to the wedding is believed to signify unhappiness in the marriage. Traditionally it is believed that cloudy skies and wind en route to the wedding will result in a stormy marriage. However, snow on the way to the wedding is a sign of fertility and prosperity!

• About tins cans tied to the car

The tradition of tying tin cans to the back of the newlywed's vehicle originated long ago when items which would produce noise were tied to the back of the couple's carriage to scare away evil spirits.

• About pranks on the newlyweds

Playing pranks on the newlywed couple was also a tradition which began with the intentions of warding off evil spirits.

Loyal friends of the couple would do this in hopes that the spirits would take pity on the couple for already being picked upon enough, and would then leave the couple alone.

• About similar outfits for the wedding party

The tradition of having members of the wedding party dress alike was started with the hopes that this would cause confusion for the spirits and send them on their way.

• About who will wear the pants in the family

Tradition says that the first member of the newlywed couple to purchase a new item following the wedding will be the dominant force in the relationship. As such, to this day some superstitious brides will pre-arrange to buy a small item from one of the bridesmaids immediately following the ceremony!

About the wedding cake

• Cakes have played a part of weddings all through history. The Romans shared a plain cake of flour, salt and water during the wedding ceremony itself, as Native Americans still do today. The traditional fruit cake originated in Britain, with the fruit and nuts being a symbol of fertility.
• Cutting the wedding cake together, still a predominent ritual at weddings, symbolizes the couple's unity, their shared future, and their life together as one.
• In old England it was traditional to bake a ring into the wedding cake as a symbol of bliss and happiness. The guest whose piece of cake contained the ring, it was said, could look forward to a full year of uninterrupted happiness.
• Another old English custom was to throw a plate with a piece of wedding cake out of a window on the occassion of the bride's first return to her family home after the wedding. If the plate broke she could expect a happy future with her husband - but if the plate remained intact, prospects for the future became grim.
• The three tiered cake is believed to have been inspired by the spire of Saint Bride's Church in London, England.
• It is believed that an unmarried male guest who keeps a piece of wedding cake under his pillow as he sleeps will increase his chances of finding a mate. An unmarried bridesmaid who does the same will dream of her future husband.

About throwing rice

The custom of throwing rice at the newlywed couple was to symbolize fertility. In some cultures, it was not rice which was thrown, but rather small cakes or pieces of a crumbled cake.

Today some still throw rice, but more commonly confetti or rose petals are thrown in place of rice due to a number of practical and environmental reasons - the symbolism remains the same!

[Rice can be hazardous and often fatal to birds who frequently attempt to eat it off the ground. It is also very easy to slip upon, presenting potential for injury.]

"Something old, something new, Something borrowed, Something blue, And a silver sixpence in your shoe".

This well known little rhyme originated during Victorian times and is still commonly practiced for good luck.

• Traditionally, the "old" would have been the garter of a happily married woman, with the thought being that her good fortune would be passed down along with it.
• The "new" stood for the couple's new bright and happy future together.
• "Something borrowed" was usually a much valued item from the bride's family. It symbolized prosperity within the new union, but would bring that good fortune only if it was returned to the family.
• "Something blue" came from an ancient tradition in which the bride would wear a blue ribbon in her hair as a symbol for fidelity.
• Placing a silver sixpence in the bride's shoe was to ensure wealth in the couple's life.

Today brides often slip a penny inside their shoe before the ceremony in place of the difficult to acquire silver sixpence. As such, the rhyme is often adapted to "...And a lucky penny in your shoe".

About throwing the bouquet and the garter

• It is customary, near the end of the reception, for the single female guests to gather around the bride who will throw her bouquet over her shoulder for one of them to catch. Originally, the bride would actually throw one of her shoes over her shoulder during this ritual.

Tradition says that whoever catches the bouquet shall be the next to marry. She keeps the bouquet to ensure this destiny.

• A parallel custom is for the groom to remove the garter worn by the bride and throw it back over his shoulder toward the unmarried male guests. Whoever catches it will reportedly be the next gentleman to marry.

*Copyright © 1999-2005 by SuperWeddings™, a division of Leader Publishing & Information Services.*

This article by Steve Whysall appeared in the Feb. 18, 2005 edition of the Vancouver Sun

First, some simple starter questions. If this were Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, these would be the easy $100 questions.

Question 1:

You have spent a small fortune on air tickets and a hotel room to attend a wedding. Are you still obliged to give a gift?

Answer: Absolutely. Here's what Judith Martin, better known as Miss Manners, says: "Guests do not get expense accounts for attending weddings, which they can then apply against the debt of a wedding present."

Question 2:

You and your spouse receive a wedding invitation, but your partner can't make it. Are you allowed to take along someone else?

Answer: No way. Again, according to Miss Manners: "A wedding invitation to a married couple is not like a pair of theatre tickets to be transferred to others."

Question 3:

You want to invite a friend to your wedding, but your fiance doesn't want to invite the friend's husband. Is it okay to say the invitation does not extend to the husband?

Answer: Sorry. Couples are invited or not invited as a couple. Miss Manners says the whole idea of inviting one and not the other is "insulting" and the rejected one has a right to feel offended.

Wedding etiquette is a vast subject. We will barely scratch the surface here today, but others have done deep and useful work on the issue.

There is, for instance, Anti-Bride: Etiquette Guide, The Rules and How to Bend Them, by Carolyn Gerin and Kathleen Hughes, which was written to provide "sensitive advice for skilfully navigating sticky situations and outmoded traditions."

And then there's the classic, painfully proper guide to wedding etiquette, On Weddings, by Miss Manners (a.k.a. Judith Martin).

Using these and other sources, here's a concise guide to the key aspects of wedding etiquette, from the basic issue of who pays for what to more complex dilemmas like how to tell people who assume they are invited that they aren't.

The announcement:

As out-dated as this may sound, the engagement should be first announced at a small gathering of family and friends, perhaps at a cocktail party or a gathering at a local restaurant. After that, announcements can be made to the community through the newspaper.

Who pays for what.

This is only as complicated as you want it to be. There are no hard and fixed rules, but there are traditions. Here's a breakdown of who is usually expected to pay for what.

• BRIDE:

Wedding ring for groom, bridesmaids' gifts, bridesmaids' luncheon.

• GROOM:

Bride's wedding ring, marriage licence, officiant fee, rehearsal dinner, bride's bouquet, mothers' corsages, boutonnieres for groomsmen and ushers, limo service, honeymoon.

• BRIDE'S FAMILY:

Bridesmaids' bouquets, grandmother corsages, flowers for ceremony and reception, invitations and announcements, wedding programs, church fee, reception (including catering and all rental items), photography, orchestra, band or DJ, wedding cake, wedding favours, and wedding breakfast.

• ATTENDANTS:

Bridegrooms, maid-of-honour, matron-of-honour and groomsmen are all responsible for renting or purchasing their wedding attire.

IN REALITY:

Times have changed. Couples will often pay for their own weddings. If one set of parents want to pay the whole shot because they are clearly able to, then they should be allowed to.

In Anti-Bride, Gerin and Hughes put it this way: "Hey we're not here to judge! If your family wants to pay for the whole wedding and they are doing it out of love, then break out the bubbly and toast their generosity."

Couples sometimes insist on picking up the bill because they then feel totally free to have the wedding they want, doing everything their way.

• INVITATIONS:

The more formal the wedding, the more traditional the wording. Never e-mail wedding invitations or thank-you notes.

• GUEST LIST:

The Anti-Bride recommends: "Approach the task as you would a real-estate purchase

with cold eye and an appreciation of the bottom line. You have a limited amount of money and space. You know the people you want to invite [your tribe] as well as the people you feel you should invite."

• TARDY NO-SHOWS:

Very tacky unless there is a good reason. Have someone call guests two weeks ahead of the event to make sure they are coming.

• NO CHILDREN:

Hard to imagine, but some people want only adults at their wedding. Spell it out by addressing the invitation specifically to the parents and on the reply card making it clear that only grown-ups are expected.

• INTERFAITH WEDDING:

Show the utmost sensitivity to parents. Anti-Bride recommends: "Reassure your family that you love your religion and you're not turning your back on everything they've taught you"

Having said that, the guide adds: "Listen to them and allow them input, but follow your heart and act according to your comfort level."

• BALANCING ACT:

If the bride has more guests than the groom rather than have a lopsided number in church, some of the bride's family should sit on the groom's side to even things up. It makes sense.

• CASH BAR AT RECEPTION:

A huge mistake. It is an offence guests won't forget or forgive, says Miss Manners. "If you can't afford liquor at your wedding serve tea or punch, if you can't afford that, serve water but serve it graciously."

• THANK YOU:

It's absolutely essential to write thank-you notes. "If the writing of thank-you letters is to be declared defunct, then the giving of presents must also be declared defunct." says Miss Manners.

• BREAKING IT OFF:

If the bride-to-be breaks it off, she gives back the ring and gifts. If the groom breaks it off, the bride gets to keep the ring.

© The Vancouver Sun 2005

Wedding attire can be a complicated matter, and not just for the wedding party. If you've been invited to a wedding, you may be feeling a bit intimidated about making the right fashion choice. This is especially true if the invitation indicates the "dress" for the wedding.

Don't be nervous. This stuff is actually quite simple, and the bottom line is, everyone's going to be watching what the bride, groom and wedding party are wearing, not you.

Here are some basic guidelines to help you be a well-dressed guest. Keep in mind that different regions of the country have slightly different dressing conventions, so if you're attending a wedding out of your area, you might want to double check with a local to see if you're attire selection is on target.

When in doubt, it is not inappropriate to check with your hosts too.

If no dress is indicated, your attire is determined to a large degree by the time of day.

• Morning Wedding

Think "special clothes". Depending on the season, your attire is likely to be lighter colored and a bit more casual that you might wear for an evening wedding. Men should still plan to wear a suit or nice sports coat and slacks, and a tie. Women can wear a nice dress, skirt or suit, and might opt for something comparatively colorful, or floral.

• Afternoon Wedding

Dress essentially as you would for a Morning Wedding.

• Evening Wedding/No Dress Indicated

Dress as you would for a nice dinner out. Men should wear suits, women should choose dresses, skirts or elegant suits. Select darker, more sophisticated colors and fabrics than you would choose for a morning or afternoon wedding. Jewelry can be more elaborate, and women would probably choose to carry a small evening bag rather than a purse.

Traditional Dress codes

There are a few phrases commonly used to indicate the formality, or informality, of dress.

• Casual Attire

Although it would be rare to see this indicated on an invitation, it is sometimes used when the hosts wish to let you know that the circumstances of the wedding are such that you really should not be too dressed up. Leave the high heels or a double-breasted suit at home. This might be the case if the wedding is being held outdoors, at the beach, in a park, etc. This type of dress is more common for second weddings. Other variations on this level of dress might be expressed as "Garden Party Attire", etc.

However, don't take casual to the extreme. Women might still opt for a dress or skirt, although a more casual one, or a suit with flat shoes. Gentlemen might wear nice slacks and a dress shirt with or without a tie. Casual attire does not mean jeans and tennis shoes.

• Cocktail Attire

Dress as you would for a fancy cocktail party or a fancy dinner out on the town. This attire is similar to that indicated above for Evening Weddings, but with an emphasis on sophistication. Women should strive for elegance and chic, rather than sweet or pretty dresses. Men should dress to be their most dashing (although tuxedos are not appropriate).

• Black Tie Optional

This dress allows those who wish to go all out and dress in black tie to do so, but provides leeway for those who wish to dress a little less formally. This option is generally well-received because it means that men who don't own or want to rent a tuxedo need not feel compelled to do so. Men can opt to wear a dark suit instead of a tuxedo, but a black, dark navy, or dark grey suit would be the best choice. Men should dress as formally as they can, short of actually wearing a tuxedo.

Women can dress as formally as black tie, but can also get away with a shorter, cocktail style dress.

• Black Tie

This is the most formal attire. Men should plan to wear a tuxedo, and women dress in formal dresses, usually floor length.

If you are in doubt as to how fancy to dress, ask a few friends who are also attending the wedding what they plan to wear to help direct your choice.

When in doubt, err in the direction of over dressing a little (with the exception of wearing a tuxedo to anything but a black tie or black tie optional event) rather than showing up dressed too casually.

Other attire essentials:

• Wearing black:

The long standing tradition of ladies not wearing black to a wedding has been overturned. Today, even the bridesmaids might be outfitted in black. Just make sure you don't look like you're attending a funeral. Consider accessorizing that little black dress with a brightly colored scarf or blazer.

• Wearing white:

Since the popularization of the white wedding dress in the mid-19th century, women have avoided wearing white to a wedding, so that the bride might uniquely shine in her white wedding gown.

While this rule, like the "no black dresses" rule, has since been rejected, a female guest should select carefully if she opts to wear white. Be careful to not select anything that might cause anyone to mistake you for the bride. Since current bridal fashions are sleeker than ever, and many older and second time brides dress in wedding suits, you might embarrass yourself (and the bride) in a white outfit. If you plan to wear white, choose carefully, and accessorize with color.

This information is from Guide For Guests: What To Wear

Vancouver has many public transportation options including:

• SkyTrain
• Buses: some equipped with bike racks; some are wheelchair accessible
• False Creek AquaBus
• SeaBus
• WestCoast Express

Information about fares, exempted fares, schedules, special needs etc. is available on the BC Translink Website.

To go the TRANSLINK website, CLICK HERE

Are you coming to Vancouver for Mel and Brian's wedding? Not sure about where to stay?

All the information to locate and book your Vancouver accommodation is all in one website just a mouse click away.

The Tourism Vancouver website is your best source of information for hotels, car rental, or dining while in Vancouver.

Can't decide but have selected a few hotel options? Melanie's Uncle Larry is willing to answer your questions or suggest other places to get more information. You can contact him by e-mail at larry.hnetka@shaw.ca or give him a call in Vancouver at 604-733-7019

To go to the TOURISM VANCOUVER website, CLICK HERE .